Monday, July 23, 2012

Dickey's

I was driving by a Hooters the other day on my way to somewhere classier than a Hooters, and I stopped for a moment to process the establishment.  Not literally stopped, seeing as that would have caused an accident (I'm super responsible like that).

From what I can gather, Hooters has everything a man could possibly want on a night out.  Food, beer, and breasts.


That's all fine and good.  Ladies have to pay for their college tuition/breast implants somehow.  I'm not going to be an obnoxious feminist and demand that they burn their bras and go on strike.  


Because that will just leave them with no severance pay and saggy boobs.  Out of those two consequences, I'm not sure which one is worse.

But I digress!  Why is it that dudes can have a restaurant like Hooters, and ladies can't have a little bit of that action?  If the whole animation degree doesn't pan out, I'm going to open a restaurant that is dickey themed that caters toward ladies.  For those of you who do not know, this is a dickey.  I can only assume they are for when you want to look warmer than you actually are.  


And the uniform will be as follows:


I'm pretty sure it will take off IMMEDIATELY.  We're talking chain restaurant, here.  Why can't a lady enjoy the finer things in life while observing some fine men, after all?  I've never had the pleasure of being at Hooters for my birthday, however, I'm sure the waitresses bring out cake and maybe lick some of the icing off their fingers seductively in front of you.  Dickey's will go above and beyond that for the birthday girl.  But, you should probably ask in advance what they'll do if it's your first time there.  Just in case you're not a lady.


Bon appétit. 

Posted by at

4 comments:

  1. MarieJuly 23, 2012 at 4:56 PM

    I'll help you branch out to Europe then, since I'm already planning on becoming a regular customer at Dickey's!
    It's funny though; we don't seem to have anything like Hooters in Denmark. Yes, we have strip clubs, but those two are quite different (well, if you just ignore some of the more "obvious" similarities of course.)

    But screw Hooters! Dickey's going to be the next big (and hot) thing.. for the ladies :D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. AlliJuly 23, 2012 at 7:39 PM

      I'm glad I have your support, haha! You can be my European branch manager when all this starts up.

      Delete
  2. AnonymousSeptember 25, 2012 at 4:17 PM

    Nah, a dickey is what someone wears when they wanna /seem/ intellectual, but don't wanna wear a full turtleneck sweater. A faux-intellectual accessory, like non-corrective costume glasses :P

    And as a hetero male, I personally find it super-uncomforable to be inside a Hooters. I'm perfectly happy with a traditionally dressed waitress - or even waiter, I don't mind - at Applebee's or Red Robin or wherever. I'd rather have a NY strip steak than a basket of hot wings anyway.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. AlliOctober 20, 2012 at 10:17 AM

      I'd have to agree with you there. I do love Red Robin. Their mushroom burger? Outta sight!

      Delete

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)